I am having a hard time reconciling who I am outside of social media. I have gotten to interact with many lovely people online, but I look up and I wonder where my IRL people are. I look at a cute picture and smile because it’s me, but I look in the mirror and frown because it’s also me. I have spent the last 4+ years of my life studying things that make us beautiful. I’ve watched and participated in the “self-care” boom. I’m living in an age of constant news and social cycles and I am tired. I’m tired of trying figure out who I am with all these distractions. I want real relationships and I am struggling in that department because I have a hard time trusting people. It’s easier to put the walls of social media up and hide behind memes and boomerangs.
I have the utmost respect for bloggers and influencers who can keep up with the hustle and bustle of their lives and make tons of money and smile and make it all look so so good. But I am tired. I am burnt out. I enjoy writing and I enjoy learning and sharing what I learn with the world but I cannot do it anymore or else I’ll be splitting myself into two. Everything has a time and place and my time with The Chic Machine is coming to an end. I’m trying to figure out how to export all of the posts back to wordpress.com so that it can exist in its entirety for everyone to view. And who knows maybe I’ll come back sooner or later and start back where I left off. But I have to stop and breath. College is stressful. Some of us can’t do it all and I’m not going to pretend. So I’m going to take the next couple months to get back to where I feel comfortable creating and growing my personal relationships with others and within myself. I’m not sure how active I’ll be on social media in the near future, but I’m not deleting my accounts just yet. I love you all very much and I’m glad you all have been on this journey with me! See ya on the flip side ladies and gents.